There’s been a fire in the fireplace all day. It had its glorious rise, its stages of continuous roar, and its moments of potential death, only to be revived once again.
But now there is no promise of revival, no more logs to be placed upon the dying embers, resulting in one more great renewal. No, this is it. The time for finality.
And only now does the cat come to watch.
So I sit and watch too. I feel it more than I see it. The room becomes cooler, no more heat emitting from now-deceased flames. The room is also more solemn, devoid of its previous energy.
And yet my own energy remains. As I watch, inside me there persists a burning. A desire that longs for those former flames yet also loves these appearing ashes.
These ashes speak of a past that occurred not too long ago but one that will never be experienced again. I long for it yet also love its novelty.
Why does the burn continue within?
The cat stretches, stops watching, just lays there instead. He is still feeling, but relaxed, probably not burning within as I am. He is a cat, after all.
But he brought me back here. The fire was ending, done in my book. Letting it run out on its own was my initial plan. I have the cat to thank for my return.
Why does the burn continue within?
Maybe the earlier flames were too warm for the cat, only for him to appear once they’d cooled. Remaining here to experience this cool and beautiful end. A simple decision leading to a profound conclusion.
There’s very little red left now. Mostly gray. More ashes.
Why does the burn continue within?
These ending embers make me a promise.
A glorious rise and fall bookending an intermediate time of striving, all of which was beautiful, simple and profound. All of it sought after, longed for, loved. Is that the promise?
No, that is the realization, a remembering, a cycle on repeat, even when endings are final.
The promise has to do with the burn that persists within, the reason I remain here and watch this beautiful end. I will see it again. And again.
For though the ashes will be swept away, through leaning into all stages of the fire, I have created a permanent and never-ending desire.