It had been some time since I’d last seen him. He still looked the same to me. And acted the same. He sat there, in the bleachers, chatting with us. He was as confident as ever, but not cocky.
While he did acknowledge me, even thanked me for being there, he did not act as if I was really there. Still, I listened intently, as I always had. And so did the other men.
He dressed simply. Not messy though. Just as his manner of speaking was confident but not abrasive, so too was this how his attire presented itself. Many of the others were more elaborately dressed, but none looked or appeared as clean as he did.
Though I had not seen him in awhile and though he acted as if I was not completely present, I was still glad to be there. My fondness for this man returned, a fondness that hadn’t disappeared but had rather been on leave.
One of the others turned and recalled the past, a remembering no doubt similar to my own. Then followed with a question. Initially, it appeared to be accusatory.
“We used to meet in these bleachers daily. You remember that? We would talk for hours…. Why did you detach?”
The asker did not appear to be angry or sad. The question was more in the mold of seeking clarity, even acceptance. He was not hurt by the disappearance. Rather, he was surprised that it had occurred.
In answering, our mentor first smiled. He also knew that the question was not meant to be accusatory. He knew this two for two reasons. The tone, for one. But more importantly, he knew this because he knew the man. Still.
“I had to move on for a time,” he replied. “I hope you know I hadn’t gone far though?”
“I know that.”
Now was my chance to ask a question, a desire that also carried two reasons. One, I had a question that I truly wanted answered. Two, I wanted to be better acknowledged than this vague understanding of presence.
“So what brings you back?” I asked.
He looked at me. I peered back. Then I repeated, after no answer was provided.
“So what brings you back?” he asked as I also mouthed these same words.
“I was never truly gone,” we both said.